Monday, February 16, 2009

Good Pastoring

And I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding.
(Jeremiah 3:15 – ESV)

Here is an example I read that I thought was a good look into some of the things a good pastor will have to do. I can testify to having to go through these types of things personally, although this is not my personal story.

The goal must always be to restore out of love, but sometimes love will inflict wounds, like a surgeon in order to bring the cure.

I once had a couple come in for pre marriage counseling. I found out that he was in the process of a divorce, and asked him why his first marriage failed, and found out that he had left his wife for the woman he was with. I said to him “In the Name of Jesus Christ I rebuke you for your adultery, and I call on you to repent and go back to your wife and beg her forgiveness” Then I looked at the woman and said “You are an adulterer, and you need to repent of that and leave this man alone, he is married to another and in the Name of Jesus I am telling you to leave him now” I told them both to repent and get right with God, and to not return to our fellowship until they do repent. They were outraged at me. I didn’t let them respond at all, I just cut off the conversations, and showed them the door.

8 years later I got a letter from him, thanking me. He said he was so mad at how abrupt and harsh I was that he kept arguing with me in his thoughts, and the longer he argued with me in his imagination the more he knew I was right and that he was really arguing with God not me, so after a few months he went back to his wife, she forgave him, and they had two more kids. He had lost our address and phone number, so it took him all those years to find me and tell me it worked. He said if I had not been so abrupt and harsh he never would have come to terms with the sin he was in.

So we must be gentle with some, and others we must be firm with. It takes the guidance of the Holy Spirit to know how to deal with each situation.

Doing the right thing is often hard. No one likes confrontation or to get involved in other people’s problems. It is always easier to do nothing, to leave it for someone else to be the one who cares... but who said obedience to Christ is supposed to be easy.

I once had a woman come in and ask for money, she was desperate with two little kids. It was clear enough to me that she was a junkie, and needed a fix really bad, and I knew if I gave her money it would go straight into her arm. So I took her to a hotel that our church had a deal with, that I could put anyone in anytime and they would bill the church later, I set her up in a room with a kitchen and bought enough food for her and her kids for a few days, and then I gave her enough cash to get high for a few days. I waited until I saw her return from scoring some drugs, and then let an hour pass so I would know she would be really wasted, and then I called the police and reported child abuse neglect. I just put her in a room and did all that stuff so I could be sure where she would be so I could get her kids taken away from her. It broke my heart. I didn’t sleep well for a few nights. I was outright crafty and misleading but I saved two little kids.

3 years later she showed up at our church, with both of her kids. She said she was really mad at me for a long time but can look back now, and she knows that I not only saved her children’s lives but that I saved her life. She had been clean for 2 years, and came to Christ and had got her kids back, and had a good job. With tears in her eyes she thanked me, and told me that she had been to three churches before coming to ours and they all just turned her away. While she knew I had set her up, she had come to see that I set her up out of love.

“Living For Today With An Eye For Tomorrow”©

16 comments:

Even So... said...

Your thoughts?

Christopher Cohen said...

Though I am sure there are times when something like these examples are necessary and led by the Holy Spirit even, "Jerk for Jesus" comes to mind, maybe because the two stories are told so close to each other.

My thoughts to ponder:

Do you throw adulterers out of the church that are obviously coming in for help?

In throwing them out, are you showing them their sin, or just making sure they don't like Christians anymore?

Is it my churches job to set up sting operations to catch bad guys?

Is it ever a good idea to give money to a junkie, ever, ever, ever? Wouldn't you have just knowingly pay for drugs? Hmmmm.

Maybe I'm way off base, but it sounds off to me. What do I know. I'm just a sinner. :)

Christopher Cohen said...

At the same time, I am a firm believer in church discipline. I am sure it is what showed me my sin when everyone else including myself wanted to sugarcoat it.

Even So... said...

Do you throw adulterers out of the church that are obviously coming in for help?

That question isn't worded specifically enough, Chris...

I believe some of these questions are addressed in the previous post "No Pets Allowed"...

Even So... said...

In throwing them out, are you showing them their sin, or just making sure they don't like Christians anymore?

That is just loaded, and a false choice...

Even So... said...

Is it my churches job to set up sting operations to catch bad guys?

Of course not; you must consider the nature of this particular situation...

Is it ever a good idea to give money to a junkie, ever, ever, ever? Wouldn't you have just knowingly pay for drugs? Hmmmm.

You are not aiding and abetting their sin, you are taking measures to ensure the safety of the chuldren, and helping her to deal with the consequences...a wake up call...yes this is a tough call, and not some regular occurance...but I think that you might want to think these things through a little more...we are not condoning some wild card vigilante idea, simply relating the fact that sometimes diffcult circumstances require difficult choices...

Even So... said...

Was Rahab the harlot wrong to "lie"?

MrsEvenSo... said...

I once had a couple come in for pre marriage counseling.

Key phrase to the first story. Perhaps the pastor's responsibility in this situation would have been different if the divorce had been final. To plan a marriage before a divorce and not want counseling for the current marriage sure seems to be blatantly wrong. Sin covering sin?

In any case, this shows more clearly the necessity to pray for your church leaders. These are tough situations to deal with and they must be diligently seeking God's will according to His word in every situation.

Even So... said...

I am not implying that because something works out in the end that the means are justifiable before God...I just know that we need to think about whether or not such things are actually wrong or not...killing in war is not the same as murdering your brother...our sermon "How Could He?" addresses some of these issues...

Even So... said...

In warfare, it is a soldier’s duty to deceive his enemy. This is the category into which Rahab’s action fits.

Another circumstance in which we are right to deceive is when people are committing a crime. This was the case when Pharaoh ordered the murder of all the Israelite baby boys. The midwives “feared God and did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them” (Exodus 2:17). The midwives lied and said that Israelite women all had their babies too quickly for the midwives to arrive (vs.19).
God blessed the midwives for this (vs.21).

MrsEvenSo... said...

Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart. Prov 21:2

Even So... said...

Yes it is something to be carefully discerned, and this doesn’t give us an excuse to lie when we think it is convenient...

Even So... said...

If we are lying for personal gain or to avoid merely unpleasant situations, that would surely be sinning.

Here is an article that I took some of these answers from...

http://www.alliancenet.org/CC/article/0,,PTID307086%7CCHID559376%7CCIID2098416,00.html

Even So... said...

I am glad you sincerely engaged the article, Chris...good to think through these things ahead of time, then perhaps we will not just be attempting to justify our "Jerks for Jesus" actions...

Christopher Cohen said...

When I comented earlier I knew it would open up good conversation and maybe some biblical explaination for the actions shown. I am a confrontational person anyway and have been quick to call someone out for their sin or stupidity. You know I am finding the balance between this article and grace, grace, grace. I didn't see grace or forgivness in this approach, and knew though it probably wasn't wrong, there hopefully was a good explaination for why it was right.

Thanks for going through each thought. I knew they were loaded. :)

T said...

Good conversation here :-)

There is definately a difference between intolerance and being a jerk for Jesus, although I suppose depending on what side you are on they can look similar.

In the balance between grace and calling someone out....remember grace is given after humility is gained from the application of the law.