A LICENSE TO STRIKE?
Dr. Richard Dobbins, in his book, “Narrowing The Risk Of Mate Selection,” wrote, “No one takes a bigger chance than when he or she marries. There’s nothing like being married. If you’re happily married, there’s nothing like it. If you’re unhappily married, there’s still nothing like it.”
It has been observed that some couple’s seem to view their marriage certificate as “a license to strike.” Difficulties, separation, and sadly, divorce, are seldom a blow-out, but a slow leak.
A seasoned marriage counselor has observed how couples wound one another in their marriage. He gave the following:
What Wounds A Woman
*An awareness that she is not first in her husband’s life
*Her husband’s failure to recognize her attempts to please him
*Unfavorable comparison to other women
*Her husband’s lack of spiritual leadership
*Rejection of her opinion as important
*Inconsistency in the discipline of the children
*Attempts to correct her in public
What Wounds A Man
*Resistance to his will
*Lack of confidence in his opinion or decisions
*Resentments for past failures
*Failure to build loyalty in the children
*Lack of a grateful spirit
*Inconsistency in the discipline of the children
*Criticism in public
In his chapter, “Before Divorce,” Harold Hazelip stated, “ Someone has said that marriage is a work of art that is never finished. It is the most challenging and complex of all the works a human being can create. It is not like painting, poetry, architecture, or a novel. We can never put down the tools of this art form, step back, and pronounce the work complete. Marriage is an ongoing project.”
“Husbands, love your wives,” Ephesians 5:25.
“Admonish the…women to love their husbands,” Titus 2:4.
Dave Arnold, Pastor, Gulf Coast Worship Center, New Port Richey, Fl.
8 comments:
An excellent reminder for all of us. These guidelines should be referred to often as a check to how we are doing individually.
Father help us to be quick to recognize the areas we need to work on and repent.
Amen!
We just reviewed them, and realize that we are guilty of them all, but interestingly have addressed them all very recently.
Now the trick is to figure out how to address this often without if feeling like an attack to the other person.
"Hey honey, can I show you all the areas you failed in this week"?
Really like the last paragraph. Marriage IS a work in progress. If you think you've "arrived" and your marriage is great the way it is, then your not growing TOGETHER AS A COUPLE (AS ONE) It takes both husband and wife working together, not against each other. It's sort of like detective work. You have to find out what your partners needs and wants are. That takes a commitment to communicate with each other and willingness to be that "exposed" (not just in a physical way, but your whole self, spiritually, mentally, etc...) TAKE time and MAKE time for TOGETHERNESS as husband and wife, the benefits are worth it! Thanks for the reminder.
Well said...
Excellent Post.
Folks just are not in for the long run, they give up to easily. When my husband and I were frist married we read the book "His Needs, Her Needs". it was an excellent book to read and understand each other.
Cristina
Thanks for the book recommendation Cristina...
Good post J.D....
After reading the post over again it seems to me that if I (man) take that list of things that wound my spouse, (make it personal), than most likely all the things that wound me would be repaired simply out of reaction of my proper behavior towards her. We need to stop being so selfish and devote our attention to our spouses needs, then ours will be met. But we treat our wives like we treat God. We only give as much as we think we absolutely have to in order to attain what we want.
Applied to Christianity... If we focus our lives on Christ and glorifying and worshipping Him because we love Him, not to just get what we want than we can truly be the bride of Christ and have that relationship with Him that so many say they want but are not willing to sacrifice anything to get. Not that it would be a sacrifice at all once we saw Christ for who He is.
I apologize for the ramblings but I couldn't seem to stop. I pray that I learn to live what I just wrote. Only by the grace of God.
Right on Dan!
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