And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.(Matthew 7:25 – ESV)
Structural integrity refers to the ability of a structure to function as designed and required. God’s design for marriage is that it would enable married couples to withstand the storms of life together. The covenant of marriage is designed to give married couples a shelter from the world, the flesh, and the devil, which are trying to destroy what God is demonstrating by a man and a woman becoming one flesh.
I have said many times that a good marriage is not a finished product, but a building process. A solid building begins width a strong foundation – the part of the structure that is underground. The foundation's job is to make sure the soil under the building can support the load of the building and its contents. The best material for supporting the weight is solid rock or bedrock. Bedrock is good at resisting the force of compression created by the weight of the building pushing down. In other words, the rock holds its shape under the force. The result is that a building built upon bedrock won't sink. A marriage undergirded by Christ the solid rock won’t sink when the pressures of life are weighing it down. It is free to grow amidst the pressure.
As the marriage building grows it faces another challenge. Tall buildings must also be able to sway in the wind. If they didn't, the wind would literally push them over. A good marriage is like that; as it is growing it needs a little give for the times when the winds kick up.
I don’t want a perfect marriage. It is not only unrealistic, it would be wrong. Yes wrong. I don’t want a perfect marriage, what I want is a mature marriage, complete with failure, frustration, fussing and futility, because these can help make for fruitfulness. If there are never any problems, and all the confrontation or negative things are simply avoided, then there is no template for when trouble comes. The storms of life are inevitable. A couple must learn to lean on each other in trust.
No, a perfect marriage doesn’t have any real structural integrity because it is too stiff, and whenever a strong wind comes along it isn’t able to withstand the assault. If the foundation isn’t solid, the building will sink. If there is no give the building will topple over. But as Christ continues to be the foundation, and there is a little give built-in as it grows, the marriage will have structural integrity.
2 comments:
Good words.
I'm not very good at being a husband, and one way that helps me to become a better husband is to watch other husbands, who have an extra measure of grace in "husbandry", and then I ask God to help me imitate the graces in these men of God.
Grace to you, friend...
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