Thursday, January 08, 2009

Disclosure and Discretion

I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.
(John 16:12 – ESV)

One thing that it seems I must learn over and over again is when to tell some people about certain issues, events, situations, and the like. Some people just cannot handle the news; they have to pass it around like it was a hot potato. Sometimes the news is better left unreported until a later time. Of course gossip is not good at all, but we are talking more along the lines of people whom take anything that might be said, anything someone else doesn’t know, and use it to prop up their own sense of self worth.

You know, they were there when it all went down, or they are always one of the first to know because they are important, or they are delivering news because they are up the food chain from the person they deliver it to, etc. They are always in the know, always at the scene, always in the mix, always where the action is, because they are always on top of it all, a frontrunner. This can be subtle or this can be obvious, but the people who purvey it rarely understand what they are doing. The most frustrating thing in the world for those who must always be in the know is to feel out of the loop. The problem is that people want to leave them out because they won’t leave anything in.

Again, we aren’t talking primarily about gossip, although these people are prime prey for its delivery. We are talking about people who have to be at every event just to say they were there. They might not even enjoy being at certain things, but they want anyone who would to know they were a part of it. Frontrunners offer full disclosure whether anyone wants it or not, and about things others wouldn’t even care about, but the person is only caring about themselves and their image. If other people would disclose what they felt about these people, they would have a hard time handling it, so others use discretion. Ironic isn’t it?

We must keep certain items from children because we don’t want to ruin their childhood. There are certain things that they just don’t need to know about yet. Peter said this about Paul’s writings, that some supposed teachers didn’t know how to properly handle the Word of God. There are some things in them that are hard to understand, which the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they do the other Scriptures (2 Peter 3:16). Christ knew that the disciples couldn’t bear all that he had to yet reveal to them, and even some of the things He had revealed to them they didn’t understand until much later (John 2:22). It wouldn’t be a good idea if God let us know everything before hand. That would lead to chaos, not comfort, conviction, and constancy. He knows better than we do, and He lets us know, as we are able to handle it.

We as Christians sometimes need to learn to be more like God, like Christ, and learn to use discretion when talking to others. Some people just can’t handle it. Have you grown to where you can handle what is given you, or must you always run and tell everyone else without first using a little discretion? If not, no wonder that others use discretion before disclosing things to you. Don’t be a frontrunner; sit back and learn to discern when to open your mouth.


“Living For Today With An Eye For Tomorrow”©

16 comments:

mark pierson said...

"Don’t be a frontrunner; sit back and learn to discern when to open your mouth."

Something I must learn. Thank you.

Ray said...

Ouch!

Thanks dfor another convicting post my friend...

Craver Vii said...

Yes, but I HAVE used discretion and can be trusted with all kinds of secrets. For example...

Christopher Cohen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christopher Cohen said...

I am convicted. Amazing, that I actually wanted to talk to you about this topic. I know I am guilty of this but have gotten much better. I still struggle knowing what to deal with verbally, what to deal with through my actions (by example), and what not to deal with at all, and give to God.

I discuss alot of things with my wife that are said to me, or about things I witness. I fear that I am gossiping. I have discussed things with my elders, and my pastor and feared it was gossip.

I am finding that there is a difference between gossip for self endearment, and council; seeking discernment.

I want to make sure I am making 'good' decisions in my relationships with others, which is where I may talk about my issues with those I trust to recieve clarity.

I pray there is enough of a difference, and that God will help show me what is appropriate and what is.....sin

As for people going places they may not enjoy, just to be seen because they are frontrunners in the community, I just have a vision of the congregation of a popular church in our area....during election year.

Anonymous said...

Agreed. Not everything is to be shared.

Even So... said...

Thank you all for commenting, I have been out of town for two days, and it is good to see your thoughts on this important but often missed issue...

Even So... said...

10-17-07

MrsEvenSo... said...

It wouldn’t be a good idea if God let us know everything before hand. That would lead to chaos, not comfort, conviction, and constancy. He knows better than we do, and He lets us know, as we are able to handle it.

Praise God, He is God, I am not.

donsands said...

I have learned over the years how to deal with those types. I mean the full blown "have to be in the front row at every game" people.

I admit I have some struggles here. I've blown it, and my friends, and family have kept me aware of my faults, and sin.

I'm even now trying not to broadcast somethings that will discourage. It's a very difficult time, for if I tell the truth, then this one person will go nuts, and infact is 100% pure emtion, yet a Christian, but it's hard to take the knee jerk reactions for me. I hate it.

But, I'll have to come clean soon, and may the Lord help me, and my partner, face the music. It's our company, which is not doing so well. We're hoping God will do something to revive it, but, we just don't know.

Sorry for the rambling. Thanks for the good post, or re-post. I needed this. If you have a heart for it JD, we would appreciate your presence before our Lord's throne for us. Thanks brother.

Even So... said...

I will be praying, Don, and thanks for asking, it is an honor...may God be glorified in whatever He decides...

Even So... said...

I also have had a real hard time with this issue, from both sides of it...

Even So... said...

And also, I might add, with having to "face the music" with a failing enterprise, more than once...

JoyfullyHis said...

Tough. Talk about the smackdown! A lot of times I play the backward game with myself. I get a thought or have a reaction and ask myself where it came from. Then I ask myself why it's such a big deal or why I want to share that so badly. Not to appear all self-righteous, I end up doing it a lot more with other people telling me stuff. Wondering what they're trying to accomplish by wanting to be the first person to tell me horrible news. But I don't always like the answers when I ask myself the whys. Ouch.
Another part of the post that gave me a movie moment. Wanting to know everything. Reminds me of the new Indiana Jones and the Russian woman. Of course, I know you meant it another way and not with animated aliens and temples, but it gave me a flashback. :) She couldn't handle it either.

MrsEvenSo... said...

It is often things I despise in others which God exposes in myself. God forgive me.

Even So... said...

Indeed, we all need help in this area...and grace to give...